Screw STDs

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June 22, 2008

I’d originally floated the idea of making postcards for Save The Dates and after mocking up a version that looked relatively classy I went and bought a Gocco. This means no more postcards. However, it does not mean no more Save The Dates (horribly abbreviated to STDs).

But there’s one little problem: I don’t have people’s mailing addresses. We’re talking about folks who move every year or two and can’t really be pencilled into an address book. And really, who has an address book anyways? (The answer to that questions is ‘My fiance’. He bought an address book a few years ago and is pretty good at filling it out. I just rely on Gmail’s search functionality).

Yeah, so I had to go and ask my friends for their addresses, which was sort of awkward. Fortunately, I am funny and was able to send this email:

[Name of Future Husband] and I are getting married on October 15, 2008.

In California.

Where it is sunny and beautiful (and usually about 65 degrees during mid-October days, but really freaking cold at night so we have to rent heat lamps!).

We’d like you to come to the wedding.

We will even send you an STD.

That means Save the Date.

Get your mind out of the gutter.

But there’s a problem.

I don’t feel like trying to find all of your addresses on Facebook.

Also, some of you happen to believe in privacy.

When it comes to the Internet at least, because we all know that [name of oversharing friend] does not know the meaning of TMI.

So, you should send me your address.

Also, let me know if you’ve secretly been dating someone for the last six months so that I can write ‘and guest’ on your invitation.

And if you happen to be super-awesome at making origami birds, that would also be nice to share.

Not that this wedding will involve origami birds and potentially invoke memories of reading Sadako Sasaki and the Thousand Paper Cranes.

I’m just looking at options.

Save the Dates will go out in the next week and I’ve already looked in to flights from [city] to San Francisco and they’re as low as $170.

I am not kidding about that.

A round trip flight for 30 bucks more than a barrel of oil.

I know, [friend in Michigan] does not live in [city that is cooler than Michigan]. Sorry.

I’m going to get back to figuring out wedding things (like how many shuttles we’ll need to rent because we’re going to have an open beer/wine bar).

Send me your address!

-Bride To Be

Things to remember: anyone you send a Save The Date to you must invite to the wedding, so be judicious in your STD-spreading.

Topics: Save the Dates |

8 Responses to “Screw STDs”

Funny words for a funny wedding « miss purple’s Diary of a Destination Wedding Says:
June 22nd, 2008 at 9:50 pm
[…] for their addresses (we all know what a pain in the butt it is to do that), elected to send out a witty, cheeky email which I’m sure made everyone […]
Wedding Lover Says:
June 23rd, 2008 at 6:43 am
Oh, STDs! You’ve got to do something about that! Funny email…
CaliOC Says:
June 29th, 2008 at 10:18 pm
That is the best email ever!
alison Says:
July 4th, 2008 at 4:25 pm
here’s the email I sent:

subject: Let’s pretend

.. someone you know was getting married. And let’s say, maybe, this someone needed your address. What address would you send? Maybe you can practice with me just in case you need to send someone your address .. and phone numbers too please!!
John Kendrew Says:
July 11th, 2008 at 12:36 am
These are great — as are all on your site…. now once the weddign is over what about trying to find a gift for some-one who has everything? Or the special something for a GHASTLY some-one? Today I found the web site for this….they have everything from Sheep Poo and Chamber Pots to Chocolate Ants and Salt and Vinegar Crickets – honestly! www.ghastlygifts.com/" rel="nofollow">Gifts
The Address Round-up « Miss Breezy’s Honeycomb Says:
August 1st, 2008 at 12:11 am
[…] once read about a bride who elected to send out a witty, cheeky email which I’m sure made everyone […]
jessica Says:
September 29th, 2008 at 5:35 pm
Hilarious email! Loved it! Thanks for letting all of us {total and complete strangers} in on the private detail.
gangsta bride Says:
April 7th, 2009 at 10:57 am
You’re hilarious and awesome. Lets be friends.

Screw STDs

8 Responses to “Screw STDs”

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