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Diamond Ring (a.k.a. Anti-Booty) Keychains

May 23, 2007

Diamond Ring Key Chain As a future bride, I spend a lot of time thinking about how to prevent any of my future bridesmaids from entering relationships. After all, if they don’t have boyfriends then I won’t have to worry about trimming the guest list. Okay, I’m not that evil. In fact, I don’t even have a guest list even though my boss has told me on numerous occasions (um, 2) that it is essential in wedding planning. I haven’t even been engaged for two weeks.

If I were an evil future bride, then I would totally purchase these keychains for all of my yet-to-be-named bridesmaids. Just imagine going out on a date with some super-cute guy and then realizing that you want to invite him in for a cocktail and then realizing that you are going to open your front door using a KEYCHAIN SHAPED LIKE A GIANT DIAMOND RING!

The company that sells these sparkling atrocities claims that “This is a fun and practical bridal shower favor.” This is not fun and practical! This is frightening and gaudy! Yes, they could be useful if you have a spare giant around the house constantly bemoaning the lack of dress-up wear you keep in stock. But you probably don’t have a bored giant chilling in your spare room.

Topics: Bridesmaid Gifts, Bridal Shower Favors, Tiffany, Diamonds Are a Girl's Best Friend, Diamonds Are Forever |

2 Responses to “Diamond Ring (a.k.a. Anti-Booty) Keychains”

  1. Ace N. Says:
    May 24th, 2007 at 12:13 am

    Somehow you can make wedding stuff seem interesting even to an 18 year old, straight, single guy in college. A testament to your dry and biting wit, I say. Congrats on the upcoming marriage and good luck wading through the mire of a consumer economy gone horribly awry. Seriously, bale of hay wedding favors?!

  2. Abi Jones Says:
    May 24th, 2007 at 6:21 am

    Jeez, you’re 18? I thought you were at least 20.

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