Archives for Bridal Party Gifts
Burberry-style Sewing Kits
August 8, 2007
The greatest trap in selecting a wedding favor or gift is believing that if you get something that could possibly be considered ‘useful’ then it will be appreciated. Other enormous errors? Selecting faux-Burberry items for your bridesmaids. Yeah, yeah, you want them to all have mini sewing kits just in case something goes disastrously wrong and you need a team of people to stitch you back into your gown, but passing it off as a gift is pretty ridiculous.
Also ridiculous: thinking that those tiny scissors will be able to cut anything. Have you ever tried to use the tiny scissors that come with sewing kits? It’s more difficult than trying to get a cat to mate with a moose.
Yes, that difficult.
If you are willing to try, you can purchase these for just $1.65 each from American Bridal. Of course, you have to buy a minimum of 24, which means that I would have to give every female person I know one of these just to get rid of them all.
Categories: Bridesmaid Gifts, Bridal Shower Favors, Bridal Party Gifts | No Comments »
Wedding Characters Ceramic Oval Ornament
August 6, 2007
If you can’t afford to shell out the thousands of dollars it can cost to have a professional photographer record your wedding day moments, why not consider having a series of ornaments painted with images of you and the wedding party? They’re just $14.95 each, though I have no idea how large they are. Really, these ornaments could be the size of a bottle of nail polish and there’s no way to tell.
Though, if you’re willing to risk potential gift-related embarrassment and willing to be turned into an impersonal cartoon, I suppose there are worse gifts that you could give.
Then again, don’t the bridesmaid face choices look sort of evil? I think it has something to do with the eyelashes. Yes, those are perhaps the creepiest eyelashes I’ve ever seen. Well, that and they appear to have the largest mouths known to any cartoon character in existence.
Bridal Party ornament is available at Personal Creations and comes with three skin color choices, a bazillion hairstyle choices, and totally creepy faces. Ugh, like little zombie cartoons all coming to get me. I’m totally going to have nightmares now.
Categories: Bridesmaid Gifts, Groomsman Gifts, Wedding Decorations, Bridal Party Gifts, Awful Wedding Gifts | 9 Comments »
Custom Personalized M&M Candies
July 17, 2007
Admit it, you’ve been thinking about personalized M&Ms since he proposed. Specifically, you’ve been thinking about Tiffany Blue M&M’s. Tiffany Blue M&Ms printed with your wedding date and the names of you and your betrothed.
Well, I hope that your fiance isn’t named Crap, because that’s one word that’s not allowed. In fact, the M&Ms people have an entired guide to what is an isn’t allowed. Here are my favorite parts of the guide:
While we encourage your creativity, Masterfoods USA will not honor a request to print any “objectionable” language, acronyms, symbols, pictures, or any other graphic representation. “Objectionable” means, among other things, anything that (i) is libelous, defamatory, pornographic, sexually explicit, unlawful, racially or ethnically offensive, (ii) infringes on someone else’s patent, copyright, trademark, trade secret or other property right, (iii) is something people would consider harassing, abusive, threatening, harmful, vulgar, profane, obscene, or violent, (iv) would breach a person’s privacy or publicity rights, (v) is a misrepresentation of facts, (vi) hate speech, (vii) encourages others to break the law in any way, or (viii) is otherwise inappropriate.
Have fun with custom printed M&M’S® Candies.
Yes, it ends with ‘Have fun with custom printed M&M’S® candies.’ As in ‘Listen future Mr. Larry Flint, we are not turning our candy shop into your own personalized mini-version of Hustler, but have a good time trying to figure out something witty and inoffensive that you’d like to have on some crazy-expensive candies.’ If you do try to put something obscene on an M&M’S® candy, look out! I got an error message smackdown:
These M&M’S® are not priced for the faint of heart or lean of wallet. The M&M’S® store charges $11.99 for each 7 ounce bag, with a minimum purchase of 4 bags. Add to that a shipping charge of $12.95 (they’re delivered by a unicorn) and you’ve got 28 ounces of M&M’S® for just $60.91.
Categories: Wedding Favors, Bridesmaid Gifts, Bridal Shower Favors, Tiffany, Bridal Party Gifts | 2 Comments »
For the Mobile or Cell Phone Lover
June 22, 2007
I admit, it happens to me from time to time. I’m sure it happens to you too. You know what I’m talking about. Okay, so it is a bit embarrassing, but somebody’s got to talk speak out. Silence is killing us all!
More embarrassing than herpes or incontinence (not that I’m plagued by either of those issues), forgetting who owns the mobile phone sitting on your desk is a disease that threatens the very core of humanity.
Thank God that the people at this online store that doesn’t even have a name realized the absolute necessity of such a personalized item and will aid us in ending cell phone forgetfulness for just $29.00 each.
“Whose cell phone is sitting on my desk?”
“Oh yeah, it’s mine!”
Categories: Bridesmaid Gifts, Bridal Party Gifts, Best Man Gifts, Maid of Honor Gifts | 4 Comments »
Like a Candle in the Wind
June 19, 2007
I can tell that George Bush did a terrific job brainwashing everyone during the 2004 campaign because I still see images of John Kerry when I hear the word ‘flip-flop.’ And really, who wants to be bombarded by images of John Kerry every time someone starts talking about summer footwear? I feel like I’m being haunted by puffy gray hair and an enormous chin.
Fortunately for my weird imagination, the folks over at Jessica’s Wedding have figured out a way to combine flip-flops and wedding-favor ideas in a manner that in no way makes me think of presidential contenders. Instead, these flip-flop-style candles have me humming Elton John’s Candle in the Wind and picturing Princess Di.
This of course leads to the pondering of her sons, who are not that hot, but are princes, which has people describing them as hot even though they’re both pretty average-looking and could easily be confused for a couple of frat boys from South Carolina.
If you really, really want these candles, pick them up at Jessica’s Wedding for just $5.95 for a set of four. I do not know if ’set of four’ means eight total sandals (four pair) or four sandals. You’ll just have to try your luck.
Categories: Wedding Favors, Bridal Shower Favors, Bridal Party Gifts, Beach and Island, Seashore and Ocean | 1 Comment »