Archives for Cake Toppers
Dolphin Cake Topper
June 28, 2007
Woo, anthropomorphism! You can make your own judgments about whether this dolphin cake topper is ugly or beautiful. Personally, I’m going with ugly. Also, creepy. Look at those beady little dolphin eyes! They are coming to get you.
What you can’t define for yourself are the interesting the mating habits of dolphins. They are not exactly the best model for marriage:
Data for defining mating systems are difficult to collect for dolphins, but genetic studies are now allowing some of the first dolphin paternity testing, and continued work should clarify understanding. Available evidence suggests that monogamy is not a practice in which dolphins engage. Bottlenosed dolphin paternity tests indicate that females may use different sires for subsequent calves. For the better-studied dolphins, associations between breeding males and females tend to be brief, lasting days to weeks, and one male or male coalitions may associate with one receptive female at a time, sometimes battling with other males for access to the female. Males may move between female groups during a breeding season. This pattern has been referred to as serial polygyny or promiscuity.
Thank you, Answers.com. Also, thank you Google for finding Answers.com for me. Also, thank you Weddings by Dezign for both putting a ‘z’ where it doesn’t belong and being bold enough to sell this cake topper for just $26.95 plus shipping.
Categories: Beach and Island, Seashore and Ocean, Cake Toppers | 5 Comments »
Precious Moments Cake Toppers, Part 1
June 21, 2007
Am I the only person in the world who is creeped the heck out by Precious Moments cake toppers? They all feature children partaking in old-fashioned wedding rituals, such as crossing the threshold (shown here).
And do not tell me that the little girl bride here is please. She looks like a wide-eyed deer caught in the headlights of child pornography. And the little boy? Well he’s obviously thinking ‘What the hell am I doing?’ Damn, all I can do is think about Warren Jeffs and those freaking child brides.
Do Precious Moments cake toppers promote child brides and polygamy? I’ll leave that for you to decide.
Categories: Cake Toppers, Precious Moments, Child Brides | 7 Comments »
Diamond Ring Cake Topper
June 21, 2007
We Do Wed says “you could almost call this the perfect wedding cake topper!” And they’re right, this is the perfect cake topper if you’re looking to boost the tacky-factor at your wedding.
But wait, there’s more! This cake topper isn’t just for your big day! No, this item is for every day home decor. This diamond ring topper (just $34.99) includes a square base complete with screws so that you can display this baby after you wedding too! That makes it so worth it.
I could see using this if you’re heir to the DeBeers fortune. But if you’re the heir to a company with $554 million in income per year, (thanks Wikipedia!) then you’ll probably have real diamonds on your cake. If you happen to be a descendant of Cecil Rhodes, I’d advise against the diamonds and cake combo; those things chip teeth like the dickens.
Categories: Tiffany, Wedding Accessories, Diamonds Are a Girl's Best Friend, Diamonds Are Forever, Cake Toppers | 5 Comments »
Golf Fanatic Groom? Get this cake topper.
June 12, 2007
Are you a future bride? Is ‘exasperated’ the word that best describes you? Are you exasperated because all your future husband wants to do is play golf? What, you didn’t realize that golf was that important to his life? Perhaps you should have considered pre-marital counseling.
Or perhaps you should reconsider marrying someone who planned a golf game for your wedding day. I’m not saying it is a sign of future marital woes, I’m just saying that exasperated bridal cake topper appears to have made an unfortunate choice in terms of future happiness.
And that’s the point of a cake topper, isn’t it? A way for you to not-so-subtly vent your frustrations about your new life partner.
This set is also available in white people versions. You’ll need to purchase the brides and grooms separately at Wedding Mountain. Grooms are $19.98, brides are $15.98.
Categories: Cake Toppers | 1 Comment »