Archives for Divorce
Divorce Registry
July 18, 2008
Oh my God! Its real!
Categories: Divorce | 6 Comments »
Obsessed with Divorce
December 14, 2007
I hope I’m not the only bride to be in the world obsessed with divorce. But I don’t have engaged friends and really, how do you bring up the issue of divorce with other engaged people with whom you’re only superficially affiliated? Hmmm?
Part of the sudden fascination arises from the sad fact that Dear Fiance and I are each children of divorced parents and having experienced that we really, really, really do not ever want to be divorced. My own parents have each been divorced twice (for a total of three divorces - that’s some tricky math). So, part of our several years of living together before getting married was to make sure that this was something we really wanted, not just the fulfillment of some societal expectation that two people who like eachother a lot should eventually live together and start making some babies.
But back to that divorce thing. Since divorce has become so common, a lot of folks have starting sending out divorce announcements (I recommend the designer linen papers from Vera Wang - lovely!) and having divorce parties and pretty much doing the wedding thing all over again.
With one vital exception: the registry.
As a person who already owns a KitchenAid mixer and her ideal coffee maker (a Keurig - it is the awesomeness), I find the prospect of a wedding registry sort of weird. And uncomfortable. I’ll be close to 30 when I marry and the only thing I’ll lack at that time is fancy dinnerware. But, do I want to haul around fancy dinnerware for years? Not really. And if I lived as an avid cook and baker for 8 years without a certain piece of enamelware, I can probably go without it now too.
But a divorce registry? Now, that makes perfect sense! Here’s the how (and the why) of making one:
- Wait until your divorce is final (And I really mean final. You are not allowed to have a Separation Registry, that is cheating.) and your formerly beloved has departed with your collapsible colander, dutch oven, and Spode Christmas gear.
- Go to your favorite stores and have a ball with that zapper gun. Do not, under an circumstances, go to the Crate and Barrel couples wedding mornings with the waffles and mimosas. Waffles and mimosas might seems like a bright idea, but do you want to get trashed at Crate and Barrel surrounded by a bunch of recently engaged neo-Yuppies? No, you do not.
- Have a party. Seriously, were you going to straight up ask people for presents without throwing a party? How tacky.
- On the invitations to the party, mention your registry. Yes, this goes against all wedding etiquette, but this is a divorce folks, it isn’t as though you’re going to have a divorce website (unless you count a Match.com profile as a divorce website, which may be accurate in a variety of cases). Possible invitation wording is as follows:
You are cordially invited to join
Jeanne Marie Buchanan
celebrate her divorce from
Marcus James SmithPlease join the happy divorcee on
Fourteenth of January
Two Thousand and Eight
for cocktails
followed by dinner and dancing
with hot young menAppropriate gifts
For this momentous occasion
Are welcome.
Ms. Buchanan is registered at
Design Within Reach
Pottery Barn
and
Crate and Barrel
And now, I’m off to try on wedding dresses. Wish me luck.
Categories: Divorce, Gift Registry | 11 Comments »