Archives for Just Married Apparel
His & Her Bridal Thong Panties
July 20, 2007
I love that the ‘bride’ thong has a little bow tie, because every pudenda needs a lacy tuxedo. This set of bride and groom thong underwear (yes, thongs for him and her) are available at the SummitFashions Amazon.com shop for just $17.98.
Categories: Fashion Nightmares, Awful Wedding Gifts, Just Married Apparel | 8 Comments »
Just Married Beach Wear
July 19, 2007
Aside from making for unstylish commuters, potential foot rash, and the possibility of rats running over your bare feet (hey, I live in Washington, DC) I don’t have a lot of problems with flip-flops. They are comfortable and expose fantastic pedicures and basically make summertime shoe-wearing bearable.
However, I expect my flip flops to last for at least a year. Yeah, I know, there are a lot of things that people buy for weddings and never use again (see dress, flowers, bridesmaid dresses, white satin shoes, and crystal-studded hair combs), but this is an actual practical thing that you can not possibly think about using once you’re more than a couple weeks into the marriage.
Plus, there’s no way that these shoes are going to help you get free upgrades at hotels or free drinks at bars. Instead, you need something much more obvious. I suggest the Just Married Bikini. It is the classiest way I can think of saying ‘This ass belongs to someone else’ on your actual ass.
Even better, the ad text from The Knot proudly proclaims:
Resorts love giving honeymooners the royal treatment — wear this sexy black bikini and reap all the benefits!
That means the people giving you free drinks have been checking out your butt. Is your new husband going to be down with that?
If not, the flip-flops are only $9.99 from The Knot. If he is okay with the booty-checking, the bikini is significantly more expensive, going for $64.00, also on The Knot.
Categories: Just Married Apparel | 2 Comments »