Archives for Wedding Decorations
Gown Pics
October 2, 2007
The search engine optimization specialist in me is cringing at the title of this entry. Gown Pics? Are they photos of gowns? Dressy icepicks? Toothpicks attached to tiny bridesmaid dresses? Sadly, the more implausible answer (toothpicks sporting dresses) is the correct answer.
These cute gown pics are available in a rainbow of colors. Each gown pic is made of resin and tulle. These are perfect for bridal showers as well as weddings. The gown pics can be used as seating cards, placecard holders, as well as favors! Purchase with or without attached favors items of 5 almonds, 5 heart shaped sugars, or 5 purse bath oil beads.
I would love, love, love to receive one of these at a wedding! Can you picture all of the redneck cousins using the gown pics to clean out their teeth after the cocktail hour? No need for private oral health care, just get everyone some gown pics!
If you really want some gown pics, you can pick them up at Weddings by Dezign for just $3.50 each with a minimum order of 5. And yes, that price includes 5 almonds or 5 heart-shaped sugar cubes or 5 bath oil beads.
My 10 year old self adored bath oil beads. And my 10 year old self probably would have loved to get a toothpick adorned with a dress. But I’m not 10 years old, an neither are you.
Categories: Wedding Favors, Wedding Decorations, Place Card Holders | 1 Comment »
Personalized Bud Vases
August 14, 2007
At first I thought that these we extra large shot glasses. But then I thought “Wait, what are flowers doing in shot glasses” I’m a genius like that. Did you know that I can also bend spoons with my mind?
While those powers are incredible, they aren’t quite as amazing as the gall that some brides and grooms must have when they think that their guests want some breakables engraved with other people’s initials.
These personalized bud vases are on sale for just $5.99 each at The Knot (minimum order of 12), smartly filed under the category ‘Unique Favors.’ Listen folks, if you’re buying a favor off of The Knot, it isn’t unique, even if it is engraved with your brand-new married initials.
If you want some decor that’s a bit more affordable (and easier to reuse) head on over to Ikea and grab 80 of the BATIST, FRAGIL, or TAJT?* They’re all considerably cheaper than the crap from The Knot.
*Even though I’m not known to break things, I will probably never ever EVER purchase something named FRAGIL. Even if it is misspelled.
Categories: Wedding Favors, Wedding Decorations | 5 Comments »
Wedding Characters Ceramic Oval Ornament
August 6, 2007
If you can’t afford to shell out the thousands of dollars it can cost to have a professional photographer record your wedding day moments, why not consider having a series of ornaments painted with images of you and the wedding party? They’re just $14.95 each, though I have no idea how large they are. Really, these ornaments could be the size of a bottle of nail polish and there’s no way to tell.
Though, if you’re willing to risk potential gift-related embarrassment and willing to be turned into an impersonal cartoon, I suppose there are worse gifts that you could give.
Then again, don’t the bridesmaid face choices look sort of evil? I think it has something to do with the eyelashes. Yes, those are perhaps the creepiest eyelashes I’ve ever seen. Well, that and they appear to have the largest mouths known to any cartoon character in existence.
Bridal Party ornament is available at Personal Creations and comes with three skin color choices, a bazillion hairstyle choices, and totally creepy faces. Ugh, like little zombie cartoons all coming to get me. I’m totally going to have nightmares now.
Categories: Bridesmaid Gifts, Groomsman Gifts, Wedding Decorations, Bridal Party Gifts, Awful Wedding Gifts | 9 Comments »
Sparkling Ice Table Decorations
July 23, 2007
Every day I despair that I won’t be able to top the ridiculousness that I found the day before. After all, how does one overcome the fantastical nature of rose petals printed with the faces of the bride and groom, or giant diamond ring key chains, or a veil covered with penises? I do not know how I work this magic, but today it continues with the perfect table decorations for an Arctic themed wedding: fake plastic ice.
Yes, plastic that looks like ice. Do you know how hard it is to find fake ice for less than $10.00 per 7 ounces? It is really freaking hard! Thank goodness for The Knot. Now I can buy all of the fake plastic ice I need to decorate the tables at my reception. Of course, my joy about finding a good source of fake ice can in no way match this product description:
You can set a glamourous mood with ease by accenting guest tables with our Sparkling Ice Table Decorations. Just scatter around the champagne station for instant excitement.
The only possible explanation for the instant excitement is that the fake ice actually contains LSD. Or Peyote. Or some other sort of brain-altering drugs. Or perhaps weddings bring out our most primal urges and our attraction to shiny object heightens to such a frenzy that we might as well be raccoons. Seriously, instant excitement? From some fake plastic ice?
Excuse me, I need to get back to work where I can experience some instant excitement by staring at some Excel spreadsheets.
Instant-excitement inducing Fake Plastic Ice is out of stock at the Wilton website, but you can probably find it at a Michael’s store nearby, where it is still in stock because it has been rejected by scrapbookers as just a little too tacky.
Categories: Wedding Decorations, Wedding Accessories | 3 Comments »
Unique Favor for Sea Themed Wedding
June 8, 2007
The Wedding Outlet is your one stop shop for all of those wedding day must-haves. What is a wedding day must-have? It is something like this bell-shaped piece of plastic that has been filled with sand and shells and hot-glued with an organza ribbon. Everyone needs an unringable bell (just $6.90 each, minimum order of 5).
I found this gem on Wedding Rumors, which appears to be a blog about wedding accessories but is really just a clog (a.k.a, corporate blog) for the Wedding Outlet. After all, what blogger could, with any seriousness, write about the necessity of non-working plastic bells filled with sand and sea shells? When it comes to expensive, non-edible favors, I find that I can only write with derision. Well, derision, wit, and complete incredulousness.
Categories: Wedding Favors, Wedding Decorations, Beach and Island, Seashore and Ocean | 2 Comments »