Archives for Wedding Themes
Christmas Wedding Favors
December 26, 2007
Sure, Christmas was yesterday, but I didn’t want to think about weddings yesterday. No, I wanted to think about mimosas. And romantic dinners in San Francisco. And Alcatraz. And the new Nora Roberts/J.D. Robb novel.
Fortunately, Stupid Wedding Crap is timeless and wedding planning seems to take a million years (have we set a budget? No. Has this stopped me from making a list of places in Palo Alto where I’d like to get married? Also no.) So, even if this favor is too late for all of the holiday weddings of the Christmas season, it isn’t too late for all of the brides just getting started on their 2008 nuptials.
These are $2.75 each as pictured above. Of course, you could get your own names and wedding dates put on them:
But then you’d look like a complete tool. “Sam and Michelle, thanks for coming to our wedding and sharing this special day with us. We’d like to give you a fragile, easily breakable item that probably won’t make it back to Des Moines with you. Also, when we visit you next Christmas season we’ll be checking your tree to make sure that you are properly honoring us in your home.”
But seriously, if you’re going to get some custom ornaments, I imagine that $2.75 isn’t a bad price. I have no clue about the cost of shipping over at the Stocking Factory, but I’d like to see you find a non-shot-glass piece of customized vitrian cheer for a wedding.
Categories: Wedding Favors, Christmas | 5 Comments »
Tractor & Cow Wedding Cake Topper
October 15, 2007
Lately a lot of people have been asking me if I’m excited to get married when they actually mean ‘Are you excited to have a wedding?’ You see, I’m completely psyched about getting married. I’m looking forward to making a public commitment to the man that I’ve loved for the past 5 years and will love for the rest of my life. I am not excited about the following:
- Finding a location
- Picking a date that doesn’t interfere with everyone else’s lives
- Choosing flowers
- Finding a dress
Asking my friend Lily to be my maid of honor
Done! I totally cried. It was great.- Other wedding stuff I can’t bear to imagine
Fortunately, I’ve already found the perfect cake topper. The cake topper that outdoes all other cake toppers. Yeah, I don’t even know if I’m going to have cake (probably will because my future husband likes traditions like that even though he’d prefer to eat chocolate cheesecake), but I do know what is going to top whatever dessert we select:
Okay, okay. So some of you will still hold more love for the more expensive ATV Cake Topper (after all, it is customizable). But if you really, truly want to go country for your wedding, you can’t do much better than this $37.00 doozy from Wedding Collectibles.
Categories: Western and Cowboy Theme, Cake Toppers | 17 Comments »
Champagne Bucket Timer Wedding Favor
October 11, 2007
Have you been putting off your wedding? It could be for a lot of reasons: the outrageous cost of catering, waiting to lose that baby weight, or holding out until you find the perfect favor. If you’re a procrastinator of the highest level, then these favors, reading “It’s About Time! Let’s Celebrate!” are perfect for you. This is the part where I would swear a lot except that I’m pretty sure I made a promise at some point not to swear on this blog.
Showing penis necklace photos = okay, but swearing is out. But this isn’t about penis paraphernalia, this is about tacky favors.
And this egg timer masquerading as champagne bucket definitely qualifies as tacky. This must be a New Year’s Eve favor that’s been ill-categorized by My Wedding Favors. But even as a New Years Eve favor it makes no sense. Who says ‘Well, it’s about time that this year is over’ ? Nobody, that’s who. And who the hell wants to hear ‘It’s about time.’ on his or her wedding day? Also nobody. Seriously, if somebody said ‘It’s about time’ to me, I would punch him or her. Well, not ‘punch’ so much as ‘give a dirty look to’. Unless it was my grandma, because I don’t punch grandmas. Or give them dirty looks.
Of course, me joking about punching grandmas isn’t nearly as funny as the actual text that accompanies this item:
Well, it’s about time these two amazing people got together and made it official.
Yeah, I definitely want an air of defeat to accompany my wedding. “She finally gave in and got married to that guy. It’s about damn time.”
It all arrives, table-ready, in a clear showcase box so your guests can pick up and marvel at their new little gift from any angle. They’ll even love the box itself with its clock graphic and tiny ‘dancing’ tick-tock champagne flutes. (See what we mean about the details!)
Wait, people are supposed to be amused by tiny graphical champagne flutes set at jaunty angles to give them the appearance of dancing? Brides and grooms planning weddings are supposed to be worried about whether or not the guests will marvel at the packaging used on favors? What the fuck, people? Yeah, go marvel at that one.
Categories: Wedding Favors, Vineyard and Wine | 6 Comments »
Custom Personalized M&M Candies
July 17, 2007
Admit it, you’ve been thinking about personalized M&Ms since he proposed. Specifically, you’ve been thinking about Tiffany Blue M&M’s. Tiffany Blue M&Ms printed with your wedding date and the names of you and your betrothed.
Well, I hope that your fiance isn’t named Crap, because that’s one word that’s not allowed. In fact, the M&Ms people have an entired guide to what is an isn’t allowed. Here are my favorite parts of the guide:
While we encourage your creativity, Masterfoods USA will not honor a request to print any “objectionable” language, acronyms, symbols, pictures, or any other graphic representation. “Objectionable” means, among other things, anything that (i) is libelous, defamatory, pornographic, sexually explicit, unlawful, racially or ethnically offensive, (ii) infringes on someone else’s patent, copyright, trademark, trade secret or other property right, (iii) is something people would consider harassing, abusive, threatening, harmful, vulgar, profane, obscene, or violent, (iv) would breach a person’s privacy or publicity rights, (v) is a misrepresentation of facts, (vi) hate speech, (vii) encourages others to break the law in any way, or (viii) is otherwise inappropriate.
Have fun with custom printed M&M’S® Candies.
Yes, it ends with ‘Have fun with custom printed M&M’S® candies.’ As in ‘Listen future Mr. Larry Flint, we are not turning our candy shop into your own personalized mini-version of Hustler, but have a good time trying to figure out something witty and inoffensive that you’d like to have on some crazy-expensive candies.’ If you do try to put something obscene on an M&M’S® candy, look out! I got an error message smackdown:
These M&M’S® are not priced for the faint of heart or lean of wallet. The M&M’S® store charges $11.99 for each 7 ounce bag, with a minimum purchase of 4 bags. Add to that a shipping charge of $12.95 (they’re delivered by a unicorn) and you’ve got 28 ounces of M&M’S® for just $60.91.
Categories: Wedding Favors, Bridesmaid Gifts, Bridal Shower Favors, Tiffany, Bridal Party Gifts | 2 Comments »
Tiffany Blue Wedding Favors
July 3, 2007
Establish your endless love and completely tacky devotion to Tiffany Blue by purchasing these wedding favors for all of your guests. At just $5.14 for four favors, you can show Aunt Mildred and Uncle Frank just how much you care by giving them three empty boxes and a notepad.
“Hey, thanks for coming out to my wedding! I know you’re starving, waiting for us to finish all of the wedding photos before moving onto the cocktail hour, but I thought that maybe you could tide yourself over with some empty boxes and a notepad!”
Categories: Wedding Favors, Tiffany | 5 Comments »