Archives for Wedding Themes
Dolphin Cake Topper
June 28, 2007
Woo, anthropomorphism! You can make your own judgments about whether this dolphin cake topper is ugly or beautiful. Personally, I’m going with ugly. Also, creepy. Look at those beady little dolphin eyes! They are coming to get you.
What you can’t define for yourself are the interesting the mating habits of dolphins. They are not exactly the best model for marriage:
Data for defining mating systems are difficult to collect for dolphins, but genetic studies are now allowing some of the first dolphin paternity testing, and continued work should clarify understanding. Available evidence suggests that monogamy is not a practice in which dolphins engage. Bottlenosed dolphin paternity tests indicate that females may use different sires for subsequent calves. For the better-studied dolphins, associations between breeding males and females tend to be brief, lasting days to weeks, and one male or male coalitions may associate with one receptive female at a time, sometimes battling with other males for access to the female. Males may move between female groups during a breeding season. This pattern has been referred to as serial polygyny or promiscuity.
Thank you, Answers.com. Also, thank you Google for finding Answers.com for me. Also, thank you Weddings by Dezign for both putting a ‘z’ where it doesn’t belong and being bold enough to sell this cake topper for just $26.95 plus shipping.
Categories: Beach and Island, Seashore and Ocean, Cake Toppers | 5 Comments »
Precious Moments Cake Toppers, Part 1
June 21, 2007
Am I the only person in the world who is creeped the heck out by Precious Moments cake toppers? They all feature children partaking in old-fashioned wedding rituals, such as crossing the threshold (shown here).
And do not tell me that the little girl bride here is please. She looks like a wide-eyed deer caught in the headlights of child pornography. And the little boy? Well he’s obviously thinking ‘What the hell am I doing?’ Damn, all I can do is think about Warren Jeffs and those freaking child brides.
Do Precious Moments cake toppers promote child brides and polygamy? I’ll leave that for you to decide.
Categories: Cake Toppers, Precious Moments, Child Brides | 7 Comments »
Diamond Ring Cake Topper
June 21, 2007
We Do Wed says “you could almost call this the perfect wedding cake topper!” And they’re right, this is the perfect cake topper if you’re looking to boost the tacky-factor at your wedding.
But wait, there’s more! This cake topper isn’t just for your big day! No, this item is for every day home decor. This diamond ring topper (just $34.99) includes a square base complete with screws so that you can display this baby after you wedding too! That makes it so worth it.
I could see using this if you’re heir to the DeBeers fortune. But if you’re the heir to a company with $554 million in income per year, (thanks Wikipedia!) then you’ll probably have real diamonds on your cake. If you happen to be a descendant of Cecil Rhodes, I’d advise against the diamonds and cake combo; those things chip teeth like the dickens.
Categories: Tiffany, Wedding Accessories, Diamonds Are a Girl's Best Friend, Diamonds Are Forever, Cake Toppers | 5 Comments »
Like a Candle in the Wind
June 19, 2007
I can tell that George Bush did a terrific job brainwashing everyone during the 2004 campaign because I still see images of John Kerry when I hear the word ‘flip-flop.’ And really, who wants to be bombarded by images of John Kerry every time someone starts talking about summer footwear? I feel like I’m being haunted by puffy gray hair and an enormous chin.
Fortunately for my weird imagination, the folks over at Jessica’s Wedding have figured out a way to combine flip-flops and wedding-favor ideas in a manner that in no way makes me think of presidential contenders. Instead, these flip-flop-style candles have me humming Elton John’s Candle in the Wind and picturing Princess Di.
This of course leads to the pondering of her sons, who are not that hot, but are princes, which has people describing them as hot even though they’re both pretty average-looking and could easily be confused for a couple of frat boys from South Carolina.
If you really, really want these candles, pick them up at Jessica’s Wedding for just $5.95 for a set of four. I do not know if ’set of four’ means eight total sandals (four pair) or four sandals. You’ll just have to try your luck.
Categories: Wedding Favors, Bridal Shower Favors, Bridal Party Gifts, Beach and Island, Seashore and Ocean | 1 Comment »
Unique Favor for Sea Themed Wedding
June 8, 2007
The Wedding Outlet is your one stop shop for all of those wedding day must-haves. What is a wedding day must-have? It is something like this bell-shaped piece of plastic that has been filled with sand and shells and hot-glued with an organza ribbon. Everyone needs an unringable bell (just $6.90 each, minimum order of 5).
I found this gem on Wedding Rumors, which appears to be a blog about wedding accessories but is really just a clog (a.k.a, corporate blog) for the Wedding Outlet. After all, what blogger could, with any seriousness, write about the necessity of non-working plastic bells filled with sand and sea shells? When it comes to expensive, non-edible favors, I find that I can only write with derision. Well, derision, wit, and complete incredulousness.
Categories: Wedding Favors, Wedding Decorations, Beach and Island, Seashore and Ocean | 2 Comments »