Archive for July 2007
« Previous EntriesATV Cake Topper
July 31, 2007
Sometimes I worry that I won’t be able to make my wedding full encapsulate all that is important about my life. Fortunately, the folks at Magical Day (kudos for grabbing that domain name!) have my back and the backs of all people who enjoy All Terrain Vehicles as much as I do:
Yes, there’s a tiny can of Pepsi attached to the back. Too bad that of all of the things you can customize, you can’t choose your favorite type of soda. No your customization options are limited to bride hair color, bride complexion, groom hair color, groom complexion, groom facial hair, base color, and ATV type. Strangely, the only customization that costs extra is complexion. Goatees and moustaches are free, but having anything other than fair skin is going to cost you.
ATV Cake topper is $79.00 (plus shipping and race-related customization) at Magical Day.
Categories: Cake Toppers | 5 Comments »
First Dance Songs: A Whole New World
July 30, 2007
Last night I Googled ‘Into the Mystic,’ a song that I adored at the DC The Swell Season show last week. Ok, I didn’t Google ‘Into the Mystic.’ I admit, I searched for ‘Into the Mystic first dance song.’ Near the top of the list of search results was a site for a DJ, featuring a variety of first dance song recommendations. Most of these recommendations were pretty innocuous:
- It Had To Be You - Harry Connick, Jr.
- Can’t Help Falling In Love With You - Elvis
- Everything I Do (I Do It For You) - Bryan Adams (Gag me with a clarinet)
- When I Fall In Love - Natalie Cole
But then there were some Disney choices thrown in. Now, I know there are some people out there who are absurdly fanatical about Disney (an old officemate who shall remain nameless, for example), and that Disney has even come out with a line of Princess-inspired gowns, but is Aladdin’s ‘A Whole New World’ really the song that you want to play for your first dance? If you’re thinking yes, please watch this video and think again:
A Whole New Lip Dub from Jeff Rubin and Vimeo.
Categories: Wedding Music | 8 Comments »
Sparkling Ice Table Decorations
July 23, 2007
Every day I despair that I won’t be able to top the ridiculousness that I found the day before. After all, how does one overcome the fantastical nature of rose petals printed with the faces of the bride and groom, or giant diamond ring key chains, or a veil covered with penises? I do not know how I work this magic, but today it continues with the perfect table decorations for an Arctic themed wedding: fake plastic ice.
Yes, plastic that looks like ice. Do you know how hard it is to find fake ice for less than $10.00 per 7 ounces? It is really freaking hard! Thank goodness for The Knot. Now I can buy all of the fake plastic ice I need to decorate the tables at my reception. Of course, my joy about finding a good source of fake ice can in no way match this product description:
You can set a glamourous mood with ease by accenting guest tables with our Sparkling Ice Table Decorations. Just scatter around the champagne station for instant excitement.
The only possible explanation for the instant excitement is that the fake ice actually contains LSD. Or Peyote. Or some other sort of brain-altering drugs. Or perhaps weddings bring out our most primal urges and our attraction to shiny object heightens to such a frenzy that we might as well be raccoons. Seriously, instant excitement? From some fake plastic ice?
Excuse me, I need to get back to work where I can experience some instant excitement by staring at some Excel spreadsheets.
Instant-excitement inducing Fake Plastic Ice is out of stock at the Wilton website, but you can probably find it at a Michael’s store nearby, where it is still in stock because it has been rejected by scrapbookers as just a little too tacky.
Categories: Wedding Decorations, Wedding Accessories | 3 Comments »
His & Her Bridal Thong Panties
July 20, 2007
I love that the ‘bride’ thong has a little bow tie, because every pudenda needs a lacy tuxedo. This set of bride and groom thong underwear (yes, thongs for him and her) are available at the SummitFashions Amazon.com shop for just $17.98.
Categories: Fashion Nightmares, Awful Wedding Gifts, Just Married Apparel | 8 Comments »
Just Married Beach Wear
July 19, 2007
Aside from making for unstylish commuters, potential foot rash, and the possibility of rats running over your bare feet (hey, I live in Washington, DC) I don’t have a lot of problems with flip-flops. They are comfortable and expose fantastic pedicures and basically make summertime shoe-wearing bearable.
However, I expect my flip flops to last for at least a year. Yeah, I know, there are a lot of things that people buy for weddings and never use again (see dress, flowers, bridesmaid dresses, white satin shoes, and crystal-studded hair combs), but this is an actual practical thing that you can not possibly think about using once you’re more than a couple weeks into the marriage.
Plus, there’s no way that these shoes are going to help you get free upgrades at hotels or free drinks at bars. Instead, you need something much more obvious. I suggest the Just Married Bikini. It is the classiest way I can think of saying ‘This ass belongs to someone else’ on your actual ass.
Even better, the ad text from The Knot proudly proclaims:
Resorts love giving honeymooners the royal treatment — wear this sexy black bikini and reap all the benefits!
That means the people giving you free drinks have been checking out your butt. Is your new husband going to be down with that?
If not, the flip-flops are only $9.99 from The Knot. If he is okay with the booty-checking, the bikini is significantly more expensive, going for $64.00, also on The Knot.
Categories: Just Married Apparel | 2 Comments »