Archive for August 2007
« Previous EntriesWedding Crap Burnout
August 29, 2007
Just 3 months after the engagement, we at Stupid Wedding Crap have a crazy degree of wedding burnout. So, after a brief break from all things wedding related (including this marvelous site) we’ll be back with more new, terrific crap.
Thanks for sticking with us. Now, back to the show!
Categories: Blog Announcements | 1 Comment »
Personalized Bud Vases
August 14, 2007
At first I thought that these we extra large shot glasses. But then I thought “Wait, what are flowers doing in shot glasses” I’m a genius like that. Did you know that I can also bend spoons with my mind?
While those powers are incredible, they aren’t quite as amazing as the gall that some brides and grooms must have when they think that their guests want some breakables engraved with other people’s initials.
These personalized bud vases are on sale for just $5.99 each at The Knot (minimum order of 12), smartly filed under the category ‘Unique Favors.’ Listen folks, if you’re buying a favor off of The Knot, it isn’t unique, even if it is engraved with your brand-new married initials.
If you want some decor that’s a bit more affordable (and easier to reuse) head on over to Ikea and grab 80 of the BATIST, FRAGIL, or TAJT?* They’re all considerably cheaper than the crap from The Knot.
*Even though I’m not known to break things, I will probably never ever EVER purchase something named FRAGIL. Even if it is misspelled.
Categories: Wedding Favors, Wedding Decorations | 5 Comments »
Burberry-style Sewing Kits
August 8, 2007
The greatest trap in selecting a wedding favor or gift is believing that if you get something that could possibly be considered ‘useful’ then it will be appreciated. Other enormous errors? Selecting faux-Burberry items for your bridesmaids. Yeah, yeah, you want them to all have mini sewing kits just in case something goes disastrously wrong and you need a team of people to stitch you back into your gown, but passing it off as a gift is pretty ridiculous.
Also ridiculous: thinking that those tiny scissors will be able to cut anything. Have you ever tried to use the tiny scissors that come with sewing kits? It’s more difficult than trying to get a cat to mate with a moose.
Yes, that difficult.
If you are willing to try, you can purchase these for just $1.65 each from American Bridal. Of course, you have to buy a minimum of 24, which means that I would have to give every female person I know one of these just to get rid of them all.
Categories: Bridesmaid Gifts, Bridal Shower Favors, Bridal Party Gifts | No Comments »
Wedding Characters Ceramic Oval Ornament
August 6, 2007
If you can’t afford to shell out the thousands of dollars it can cost to have a professional photographer record your wedding day moments, why not consider having a series of ornaments painted with images of you and the wedding party? They’re just $14.95 each, though I have no idea how large they are. Really, these ornaments could be the size of a bottle of nail polish and there’s no way to tell.
Though, if you’re willing to risk potential gift-related embarrassment and willing to be turned into an impersonal cartoon, I suppose there are worse gifts that you could give.
Then again, don’t the bridesmaid face choices look sort of evil? I think it has something to do with the eyelashes. Yes, those are perhaps the creepiest eyelashes I’ve ever seen. Well, that and they appear to have the largest mouths known to any cartoon character in existence.
Bridal Party ornament is available at Personal Creations and comes with three skin color choices, a bazillion hairstyle choices, and totally creepy faces. Ugh, like little zombie cartoons all coming to get me. I’m totally going to have nightmares now.
Categories: Bridesmaid Gifts, Groomsman Gifts, Wedding Decorations, Bridal Party Gifts, Awful Wedding Gifts | 9 Comments »
Being Rich Makes Wedding Planning Easy
August 4, 2007
Did you know that I consider it my job to read the gossip rags for all of you? Oh, I’m not talking about US Weekly and Star and People. No, I’m talking about the online gossip brought to the Internet by the corporation Gawker Media. One of their newer properties, Jezebel, recently had a guest post from a guy who says: Planning a Wedding is No Big Deal.
Admission: I’ve done no wedding planning whatsoever. Well, that’s a lie. I’ve made a guest list. That counts as planning right? So, even though I’ve done no wedding planning, I have read Wedding Bee. And I do know that having a wedding on a budget is more complicated than just walking into a bunch of ballrooms and choosing the one that you want.
So, why was I so confused by the writer’s easy-breezy approach to wedding planning?
We’ve dealt with the whole thing ourselves, with no hired-gun consultant overseeing it and hardly any logistical input from either set of parents (though they are helping to foot some of the bill, which FYI is coming in just under the national average of $37,000). And we’re not doing some radically scaled-down anti-wedding, either — we’re having a Saturday night party in Washington, D.C., with more than 120 guests, a live band, plenty of flowers, etc.
Oh, that’s why. Yeah, I’d be stress-free too if I were dropping over $30,000 on a party for 120 people. I could freaking hire a band of elephants to carry me down the aisle on their trunks if I had that much money. Way to show us not-so-wealthy people that we’re totally overthinking EVERYTHING.
Categories: A Guy's View | 11 Comments »